Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: What stops us all from going to that future vision is in my opinion, our subconscious conditioning.
[00:00:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:08] Speaker A: And, and this is what I try to, in my work, try to uncover, to help the client for. Because the first step is for them, for us to bring awareness to that subconscious conditioning. Because as Carl Jung said, until you bring the unconscious conscious, it will drive your life and you'll call it fate.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Wow. The randomness of nothing. Listeners, this is your host, Rashad Woods. Today and I have a very special guest who I've had a chance to talk with offline and just really get to know. And he's a very special individual, positive, helps people find the purpose and meaning in life. And he's walked the walk. More importantly, because he knows where people are coming from. Life coach, all around good guy, world traveler. John. John. John Damiani.
[00:00:50] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:00:51] Speaker A: Thank you so much, Rashad, for such a generous introduction and it's wonderful to be speaking to you again.
And thank you for hosting me on your show and congratulations on the growth.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: Thank you. Yeah, thank you very much. It's been kind of wild, right when people start, when you start seeing rankings that are actually, you know, outside of your own respective zip code or country, kind of have to pinch yourself a little bit, you know, and you found me, obviously because of that growth and without people like you, it wouldn't be possible. So I appreciate you.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you very much.
[00:01:18] Speaker B: So first of all, you obviously have a very compelling story. You're from Jordan, currently in Italy. You went into banking and finance and then eventually you found your calling, you know, what you like to call that real purpose in life of yours. And now you help people through your coaching discover that same meaning of purpose. So will you just walk us through your background?
[00:01:36] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: So I have a background in engineering and I studied engineering because my family suggested I would. I wasn't really sure what I wanted. I didn't have any real passions when I was 18, so I went into engineering just because it was versatile. College for five years and then I got into data analytics and I joined a bank at the ripe age of 23 and I did data analytics for that bank for a couple of years and then I got a job opportunity for another financial institution in Berlin in Germany. So I left Jordan, my hometown, and I pursued that position in data analytics and I stayed there for around three years.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: That's amazing.
[00:02:28] Speaker A: Now the thing was that throughout my career, like the five, six years that I was working as a data analyst, even though I was really enjoying a lot of the job and.
[00:02:41] Speaker A: I was Utilizing my analytical mind, coming from my engineering background and I enjoyed that kind of environment.
But there was always this knowing that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do.
And at the beginning it was very subtle, very low. It would disappear for months and then just come back, whisper, and then it would disappear again. But over the years, especially the last year and a half, it really got louder and louder and louder. As I continued to develop myself, inquire into myself and yeah, just hone my personal practice and so on and my, my routines, I really started to understand what my values were.
[00:03:27] Speaker B: That voice got louder. That voice got louder to yourself.
[00:03:30] Speaker A: The voice got louder. And I really started to understand that I wasn't really doing what I was supposed to do. And then the company I was working for in Berlin decided to close the offices, their offices in Berlin, and they let go of 70 people. And six months prior to that moment, I really was considering changing jobs.
But what I thought would make me happy was just changing companies. Like still do data analytics, stay in, like maybe finance, but maybe change companies.
[00:04:07] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:04:08] Speaker A: And initially that's what I tried to do. I took on like, I started studying for certifications just to hone my data skills. I started interviewing and looking for jobs. But as I was studying and interviewing, this noise was getting louder and louder that John, you're doing the wrong thing.
And I tried to ignore it for weeks and months, but I couldn't.
So eventually, after like six or seven months of not knowing what to do.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: While continuing to develop my data skills, I landed on a transformational coaching school.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: Beautiful.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: That approach, coaching from a spiritual angle. And I joined a two hour webinar that was hosted by the founder and Rashad.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: It was like that, just all of a sudden the lights all came off. Right.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: Honestly, Rashad, in the first like 10 to 15 minutes of that two hour call, I could feel like a full body. Yes. Like this is exactly.
[00:05:12] Speaker A: What I've been looking for.
[00:05:13] Speaker B: Right.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: But I didn't, but I didn't. I wasn't familiar with the world, with the world of coaching, the world of transformational coaching.
[00:05:21] Speaker B: Did you find yourself, and I hate to interrupt, did you find yourself almost doubting yourself? Because when people will sit back and say, you know, I don't have the skills to transfer in something like this.
[00:05:31] Speaker A: You know, self doubt like naturally will arise. Like it's, it's inevitable when we, when we venture off into something completely unknown, like the normal human response is fear and doubt. And.
[00:05:47] Speaker A: Of course I felt that.
But the, yes, that and the certainty that I felt was much more profound than the self doubt I was also feeling. So of course it was a journey to.
And, and the confidence comes from action. This is what I realized as well on my.
[00:06:09] Speaker B: Correct, correct, correct.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: Many of the times in the past I used to wait for the confidence to actually, to actually do the action.
But I then later realized that the confidence is a result. It's a byproduct of action.
[00:06:23] Speaker C: Right.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: So the more I practice, the more I trained, the more I put myself out there, the more confidence I gained, the more certain. It's, it's absolutely incredible.
And.
[00:06:37] Speaker A: And when we do like life changing decisions, when we venture off into paths that are completely unfamiliar, it, like for me at least it really triggered and brought to the surface a lot of fears that I wasn't familiar with for sure that were buried somewhere deep down that started to bubble up.
[00:06:56] Speaker B: Right, right.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: And yeah, it's, it's like a business venture of course. Like it, it, it was me pursuing a different career path.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: But.
[00:07:09] Speaker A: The growth that I experienced personally within myself was invaluable. Also been, yeah, has also been very profound just because I took that leap of faith.
[00:07:18] Speaker B: Well, I think what happens to people is, is that, you know, a lot of people are more, you know, not only say insecure, obviously everybody has all their, but they have a lot more self doubt than, than what they've, what they want to want to admit. And I think that, you know, things that are familiar with people, people gravitate towards. Right. So here you are, highly educated, highly successful in your field of work and so you could have autopiloted it and stayed in that respective career, you know, notwithstanding that branch closing, you could have segued into something similar pretty, you know, okay, well, you know, those are the things that happened. But to have that bird's eye view of your own life and say, you know, I think that there's something to be said about what's your inner purpose. And you know, and the problem is, is that people punt.
[00:08:00] Speaker A: Right.
[00:08:01] Speaker B: And so now it becomes a case of Here they are 5, 10, 20 years later and they still punted. You did that and you acted on it because you had a burning desire to make sure that that was not something that you were going to put off because you have less time available than you truly do when you want to do that.
[00:08:15] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: And that's exactly the question I was asking myself. Okay, I could do data analytics for a few more years, but could I really bear the thought of doing it 10 years from now, 15 years from now, correct. And that thought the idea of being in Data for like 15, 20 years was unbearable. And what I was looking for was that feeling of fulfillment, that feeling of connection.
[00:08:47] Speaker A: And it wasn't that like I wasn't looking per se for my purpose in life because that changes, I feel in each phase.
[00:08:57] Speaker B: Right, right. That's fluid.
[00:08:58] Speaker A: It's fluid. It changes in every phase. We have a different purpose. We might have multiple purposes, but I was what I was looking for, this feeling of connection to myself. Connection to life. Connection to.
Yeah, this feeling of fulfillment. And I could see that that feeling was not going to be available to me if I continued that path.
[00:09:20] Speaker B: Well, it's good. And some people never find that, you know, and that's wonderful that you did. So let's talk about your coaching. Your coaching is obviously, you know, helping people find purpose, bringing out those self doubts and transforming it into something positive. So how does an, I saw, you know, from your website, you do a, you know, five minute, you know, you do free consultations. So as somebody who's brand new, there's kind of a two stool question, two legged question number. What stage do you usually find people at age male, female and then two what, what professions do you usually see people from? Is it all walks of life or is it a specific profession that you see? People come.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: So like these questions I wrestled with for quite a long time at the beginning of my journey trying to understand, okay, who do I want to work with, what gender, what, what age group, which professions, which geographic location and so on.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: But as I continue to work with people, what I realized that we all have, regardless of our age group, like from, let's say once we're in adulthood and we're fully developed, regardless of where we grew up, regardless of what job we do, regardless whether we're, whatever gender, gender identity you identify with, if we really dive into the core, we're all very similar.
Like we come from very different backgrounds. We all have our own personal history that could look very different.
[00:10:47] Speaker B: Right.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: But the impact of that history, if we really dive into the core, is very similar. Now there's a gradient to, to each and every belief that we all have and we all have tens of thousands of them subconsciously stored.
But the ones that limit our potential and constrict us and create the heaviness or the stuckness or is very similar in each and every one of us. So I don't really look at gender identity or I don't look at specific age groups.
[00:11:27] Speaker A: Because what I realized is through coaching and talking to people and doing deep introspective work. The work is very similar.
[00:11:36] Speaker B: Right now.
[00:11:37] Speaker A: There are specific fields where we need a specialist in that field. Like people who went through severe trauma in their life, they might need a therapist or a specific kind of practitioner to help them in that field.
[00:11:53] Speaker B: Right.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: But the majority of us, again, are very similar in that field in that respect.
[00:12:00] Speaker B: And so, you know, and I didn't know if it was a certain. Not necessarily you reaching out, if they were reaching out to you. Here's. Here's what I was. What I found most fascinating about you is that most people don't get to that point of where I've acknowledged the fact that I'm successful, but I want more. So from the outside looking in, if you were to tell, you know, your inner circle or if you did, and I'm not here to say that you did or you didn't, you know, and you. You tell them, like, hey, man, I need to level up from what I'm doing right now. Most people would look at from the outside like, you're in finance, you came from Jordan, you're living in Europe, you're on the outside looking in. How could you possibly be professionally or personally, you know, dissatisfied? But it's all about what you wanted to accomplish at the end of the day and what your life wanted, a trajectory move. And I think people sometimes don't put that into perspective. Not to say you should get a little selfish, but you really should.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: Right?
[00:12:51] Speaker B: Is it truly the purpose that what I'm living is, is leading to that fulfillment?
[00:12:56] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:12:57] Speaker A: And. And it's not bad or wrong, right, to be seeking external approval like it's. It's embedded in our conditioning. Right from the moment we grow up, we want the approval of our primary caregivers.
[00:13:11] Speaker C: Right.
[00:13:11] Speaker A: We want to make mom and dad happy.
[00:13:13] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: And the result is we abandon our own needs to get that approval. Because this approval from our primary caregivers as kids were completely dependent on them means, like, we get shunned and, like, we will probably die. Right.
So seeking the external approval of people is very. Is a deep. Is very deep conditioning. And it's not wrong.
[00:13:42] Speaker C: Right.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: And however, again, that, like, it came with, like, it's. It's something that. This is one of the things that was coming up for me that I was. That at the beginning, I talked to, like, this was one of the fears that, okay, will people really judge me when I share that I'm leaving behind my successful career in data and I was making very good money? People Will think I'm, I'm doing the wrong decision and they will judge me and so on. And it's beautiful. Right, because it pointed to an area where I can grow.
[00:14:15] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: Pointed to an area where, okay, there's more work to do within myself. And yeah, looking for those triggers, whenever we get triggered, regardless of what that trigger is, just it's pointing to where I can actually get to know myself at a deeper level.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: For sure.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Where can, yeah, where can I love myself more deeply, accept my circumstances and so on.
[00:14:37] Speaker B: What advice, what insight does somebody have to do before they get on a call with you? Like, what information do you ask them to do? Like, okay, John, I'm ready to schedule a call. This is what I'm at in life. What information do they disclose? Is it pre advanced or they just do an introductory call? Are there specific assignments that people have to be given, you know, that involve, okay, if we're going to do this together, I need this from you specifically because it's a two way street. You know, you're at the end of the day, they have to give something to you to be able to transform themselves.
[00:15:02] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:15:03] Speaker A: So primarily.
[00:15:07] Speaker A: What. When we're like.
[00:15:10] Speaker A: When I go through a coaching journey with a client, the client is.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: Experiencing something in the present moment. They're either going through a challenge or they're feeling stuck or they're going through emotional turmoil or whatever that challenges in the present moment. Right. And they want to get to a future, a future state, whether it's more fulfillment in their career or more acceptance of their partner or they want to heal a certain wound within them. There's like a future vision. Right.
But what stops us all from going to that future vision is in my opinion, our subconscious conditioning.
[00:15:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:55] Speaker A: And, and this is what I try to, in my work, try to uncover, to help the client first. Because the first step is for them, for us to bring awareness to that subconscious conditioning. Because as Carl Jung said, until you bring the unconscious conscious or until you make the unconscious conscious, it will drive your life and you'll call it fate.
[00:16:19] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:16:20] Speaker A: So the idea is to bring our subconscious beliefs that are limiting our potential and make them conscious so we can start working on them. So what I ask to come back to your question is where are you now? What are the challenges you're experiencing? Where do you want to go to? What's the vision for yourself, let's say in the coming six to 12 months?
[00:16:44] Speaker A: And what do you think might be in the way?
[00:16:48] Speaker B: Right.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: I think one of you.
[00:16:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm Sorry. So I think one of the challenges, when people talk about coaches, that they think there's something wrong with them.
[00:16:55] Speaker C: Right. Yeah.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: You know, and I think that's one reason people don't get coaches. Right. Because there's a. You know, I can't speak for everybody, but it's. It's like, you know, people would. All of a sudden, you get a coach, and it sounds like there's something that you. You failed at. You know what I mean?
[00:17:10] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
[00:17:11] Speaker A: That's one of the reasons why people don't get a coach, and that's one of the reasons why people get a coach as well. Right, right. I think there's. I'm flawed in a way.
[00:17:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:21] Speaker A: That I'm broken in a way.
[00:17:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: And this person is going to fix me. This person is going to help me be whole again. And that's also one of the very common, or I think the most. This is the most common belief that I would say most of us can relate to, that there is something wrong with me or I'm not good enough.
[00:17:43] Speaker B: Right.
[00:17:43] Speaker A: And I need to fix something within myself.
[00:17:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:47] Speaker A: To become good.
[00:17:48] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:17:49] Speaker A: Right. But again, it's. It's a lie. It's a complete lie.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: I think. I think that people have. And there's not a lot of, like, here's. Here's. I've always. Whenever I've interviewed people, I. You know, I always ask this question because obviously social media has a great way of having people to reach out and to get that personal growth and success that they're seeking for or that fulfillment they're achieving. How do you make sure, because there's such a proliferation of advice given online, that you're the real deal, so to speak. And I say that respectfully because, you know, and I only ask this for the purpose of this show because I know you are. So how do people know who to pick as a coach? Stations, thingsonials, things like that?
[00:18:27] Speaker A: It depends. But I would say just go with your intuition, personal connection, because there are hundreds of thousands of coaches out there. Yes.
[00:18:37] Speaker B: Just like podcasters like myself.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: Like podcasters like yourself.
And.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: When you're in a container with a person, it's a very intimate space.
Right. Like, you're really diving deep into your own psyche, into the challenges, into your own history.
So I think the number one key thing is the connection that you, like, the coach have. Right. And the connection can be felt immediately if there's, like, it's a powerful partnership, if it's built on respect, and it feels like a safe Space.
[00:19:16] Speaker C: Right.
[00:19:16] Speaker A: Because that's also very important just for the, for the person who's getting coached to feel safe, to be able to open up.
[00:19:24] Speaker B: Understood.
[00:19:25] Speaker A: And of course, personal experience from the coach, like have they personally done the work? Because you can get all the certifications in the world. I think what really makes a great coach great is.
[00:19:38] Speaker A: The work they do on themselves.
And the deeper we go within, or the deeper I go within myself, the better I'll be able to partner with people and help them transform their own life. Beautiful. So I can get all the certifications in the world. But if I'm not implementing that knowledge into my own life and getting to understand my own subconscious beliefs and my own limitations and my own conditioning, I won't be able to help the person sitting across the screen from me.
[00:20:09] Speaker B: I had a very powerful guest once and you know, I've quoted him on a few different episodes and his name is Brandon Barnum. I, I always quote him because he said one of the most powerful quotes I'd ever heard in my entire life. He said, there's life by design and there's life by default. And if you actually really like take that message to heart, you can do what you did, which is, you know, I'll just default it, you know, I'll get my post secondary education and just go to this particular path. And then there's the design part where you, you know, where you take that moment, you're sitting at home and you have those quiet moments and you're like, this is going to lead to something that maybe I'm not going to be fulfilled with and I'm going to design out what I want to do. And you know, whether it's a health issue, whether it's a divorce, whether it's any personal, you know, it doesn't always have to be a tragedy.
[00:20:53] Speaker A: Right.
[00:20:53] Speaker B: It can be a positive thing too. But it says something when somebody can actually start designing that, that fulfillment in that area, you know, to, to navigate towards that ultimate goal. And it's fulfilling because then you wake up every day with that burning and purpose to help other people get to that, get to that stage in life.
[00:21:10] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:21:12] Speaker A: And from my own experience, like we all like the social conditioning on this is quite deep for all of us. Like what, what we think will bring us fulfillment is more materialistic, more wealth, more money, the car, the house and so on.
[00:21:28] Speaker B: Right.
[00:21:28] Speaker A: However, what I realized is of course it's important to have enough money, it's important to have a house and so on, of course. But however, There are intermediate goals to a bigger goal.
And the bigger goal is that will actually bring us fulfillment.
Is being of service to others.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: Or family, personal, like relationships, cultivating, like, familiar relationships or friendships.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: Pursuing, like our own, deepening, connecting with, with whatever that would, whatever that looks like, whether we're spiritual, whether we're religious, whatever that looks like. Those are the things that actually bring true fulfillment. Correct.
And money and the house and the car are just, they could be stepping stones.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: And it's, you know, and what I found, you know, most fascinating about your history is that you're very open and transparent about your own, you know, sense of fulfillment, you know, and it takes, in order to be a successful coach, you know, in anything, not just, you know, you have to be willing to share with your students that maybe you're not comfortable and under normal circumstances you wouldn't feel comfortable with, but if they're going to open up to you, you have to open up to them. You're very transparent about, you know, where you wanted to be at in life. And for the purpose of this show, and we've talked, you know, two or three different times, I've always, you know, I always ask this of every guest that, you know, where can people find John Damiani and their serve your services that you offer?
[00:22:59] Speaker A: So they can find me first and foremost on my website is John Damiani. D A M I a n I.me.
[00:23:08] Speaker B: That name was hard time for me to pronounce after a while, man, because I wanted.
It's a tongue twister.
[00:23:13] Speaker A: I know, I know, I know. It's, it's, it's an Italian name. So here everybody spends it perfectly and pronounces it easily. And my Instagram handle is the same. John Demiani don't me.
And you can connect with me through my website or through my Instagram.
[00:23:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:30] Speaker A: Or on LinkedIn as well.
[00:23:31] Speaker B: Beautiful. Do you find, and just briefly, do you find out that, you know, with the Internet, like, you know, do people have just as good a coaching session, you know, over Zoom or other platforms as they had when it was in person? Do you do in person or is it just primarily Zoom or, you know, other platform online?
[00:23:49] Speaker A: And to answer your first question.
[00:23:54] Speaker A: Always in person connection is a much more profound connection.
[00:23:59] Speaker C: Right.
[00:23:59] Speaker A: When we're sitting with the person, right. Can see them, can feel them as well when we're sitting next to each other rather than across the screen. But that is not to say that virtual connections can be also very powerful. So it's a mix of both. But I primarily work Virtually, because the people I work with are, like, living all over the world.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: Okay, nice.
[00:24:26] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: But the more people in person I can coach, the. The.
[00:24:31] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: The better.
[00:24:32] Speaker B: That's got to be fun to see people from different countries seeking out your services because, you know, what they saw or read or heard about you online resonated with them. That is a beautiful thing.
[00:24:41] Speaker A: That is a wonderful thing indeed.
[00:24:43] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:24:44] Speaker B: Well, you know, I will promise you this. You have it. It's definitely been enlightening to talk to you a number of times. I'm glad we finally got a chance to film our official episode. You know, it is. It is definitely a shine of light to be able to know that you're helping people find that sense of fulfillment that you yourself have found. And for everybody who's listening, you know, best thing about it is, is that all it takes is a little bit of will. It's not even about flaws. It's about understanding your place in the world and where you ultimately want to go. And that's what the purpose of this show is, is to talk to people like yourself. So I appreciate that.
[00:25:14] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:25:15] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you, Rashad. Thank you very much for hosting me again. And it's. Yeah, like, the three times we talk, we talked, they were like. It wasn't pleasure. Yeah.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: It wasn't even like an interview. It was just like, man, we're just going to talk and just have a good time, you know? You know, sipping a coffee. You know, it's like two friends just catching up with each other.
[00:25:31] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Always a pleasure. John Damiani on the Tron podcast, thank you very much, sir. And you have a wonderful day.
[00:25:37] Speaker A: Thank you. You're so welcome.
